


Just Pretend

by catsforlivvy



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, I'm Sorry, M/M, it's trash, no powers au, this idea came from a Craigslist post
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2018-12-19 09:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11894964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsforlivvy/pseuds/catsforlivvy
Summary: Charles' somewhat lacking work ethic lands him in a ridiculous situation. A stranger comes to the rescue.





	1. The email and the phone call

Charles was perhaps not the most work-oriented university professor. In fact, some would say he was the least. His students could count on deadlines being pushed back last minute, the other lecturers could count on scheduling conflicts, and the night staff didn't know him at all.

He noticed that many of his fellows had a similar schedule, and yet were blessed with a far better reputation. It would not have bothered him in the slightest, had he not been able to practically read their thoughts in their expressions.

He saw resentment reflected back on him in faces that were woken up far too early every day, in faces that had seen that one new piece-of-crap cartoon movie far too many times, in faces that held joy, responsibility, and a certain type of fear that he had never experienced. The faces that read 'I have a kid, what's his excuse?' _This_ is what bothered him.

It was Raven who first planted the idea in his head. It was Raven who'd lead him to a very complicated predicament. Though that statement could be uttered many, many times throughout his life, it was perhaps at this point that Charles felt it was the most poignant.

"Why don't you just pretend you have a kid?" She'd said.

The very statement that had led him to staring intently at his computer screen, at an email with the banner 'Take your child to work day!' pride of place at the top, was now the predominant thought in his head. Other thoughts that drifted about included 'oh fuck' and 'I've screwed up, bad.'

Charles knew that this kind of thing was way too weird to be dismissed as his eccentricity, or his commitment to being able to skip work. He'd pretended to have a child. Photo on the desk and all. Raven found it absolutely hilarious.

He'd put up an ad to try and get someone, anyone to take enough pity on him to use them and their child for the day. It had been five days and there were absolutely no responses. Not a query nor a question. Nothing. He felt his case was hopeless.

That is, until, Raven came up with another of her ideas. "You've got the photo right? Just call the agency. They'll have the details surely." Charles lit up. "Raven you are brilliant. Absolutely brilliant." She smirked at him, brilliant white teeth flashing almost predatory behind her lips. "What can I say?"

Charles ignored her and set off quickly to find the image again. He vaguely remembered entering something like 'Happy six year old' into his search engine, and quickly retyped the words, smiling even wider when he saw the words highlighted in purple beneath, and reminded himself that he really should clean out his search history.

He found the picture on the fifth page - no need for anyone to go searching and find the exact same kid - and quickly found the agency. He realised suddenly that he had no idea how to approach this. 'Hey I saw a child on your website and used him for an excuse out of work can you please give me the contact details?' Didn't sound like it would be a big hit.

He searched around the site and found an 'actor' portion and scoured through it. Raven glanced over his shoulder and looked bemused, but didn't question it. After a while he found the same child, same picture and all. He sighed in relief and clicked the 'contact the agent' button.

Once he copied the number and dialled, he almost froze. He shook himself just before he heard the 'click' to indicate that the phone had indeed been picked up. "Hi. So this is going to sound weird but..."


	2. The ridiculous explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik can't believe what he's hearing, or what he's agreeing to...

Erik sat comfortably on the couch, exhausted after another day looking after Alex. It wasn't that he disliked caring for his son, rather that Alex seemed to be almost tireless. Being woken up at god-knows-what hour in the morning to the seven year old bouncing excitedly on him, demanding that he 'make the TV do the thing' was  _not_ his idea of fun, no matter how much he loved his child. 

He had wanted some alone time to sit and watch the news, but as soon as he switched the set on, he found himself drifting off where he sat. He sighed and ran a hand over his face, wishing not for the first time (nor, indeed, the last) that there were more hours in the day. He tried to fight the exhaustion tugging at him, but was largely unsuccessful due to the fact that he really did not  _want_ to answer the mounting emails in his work inbox, which he inevitably would end up doing if he stayed up (he was somewhat of a workaholic, offset only by Alex's absolutely hectic schedule and Erik's own adoration for their father/son days out). 

So Erik found himself asleep when, at nearly midnight, the phone rang. He glared at it, and let it ring out. It rang again. He glared again. On the third ring, he remembered Alex would also be trying to sleep, and as much as he did not appreciate the phone interrupting his own sleep, he would appreciate a grumpy seven year old even less. And so he grunted, took a moment to collect himself, and picked up the phone. 

Nothing was said for a long moment. Erik had assumed it was not some cold-caller at this hour, but now he almost wished it was, even if it just gave him someone to bitch at. But then, after a quiet and almost imperceptible sigh, a man introduced himself and launched into an explanation of his predicament and the reason he needed his son. Erik wasn't sure whether to laugh or sigh. He settled on a sort of grumbling chuckle, utterly bewildered at the situation the man had found himself in. 

"So.. you want me to do what?" He asked, somewhat coming out of his tired state now. The man (Charles, Erik vaguely recalled) had started to prattle of his explanation again before Erik abruptly cut him off. 

"Can I ask why you needed to pretend you had a child to your work?" There was a pause. Somehow Charles had neglected to include that part. 

Prior to this phone call, Erik had a very, very long day. It started in the morning, with Alex interrupting what was supposed to be a brief lie in, but being one of the most atypical children Erik had ever seen, Alex had  _wanted_ to get up early. Even with this early start, he still managed to be late not only at getting Alex to school, but to his morning meeting, both events made worse by the teacher that had kept him behind 'just an extra five minutes' before class to inform him that the children must be there at a certain time each day for a  _reason_ , Mr. Lehnsherr, and yes of course you're a very busy man but can't you spare these extra few minutes helping me sort these workbooks, whilst you're here? This morning, of course only preceded the afternoon, which was measurably worse, and included spilt coffee, skipped lunch, and brattiness at bedtime. In short, Erik's day could not have lead him to look any less kindly on Charles' next statement than if the next statement had been that Charles was running a cult out of his basement. 

So it was understandable that, when Charles explained how he had used Alex as an excuse to get out of work, Erik had gone a little off the handle. What was perhaps slightly less understandable was Erik screaming like a banshee into his phone and not actually articulating any of his rage to Charles. Erik continued for a full five minutes before Charles could interrupt. It was a further thirty minutes before he really calmed down, and it would be another twenty before he could be convinced to meet Charles and discuss a way out of his situation. And so it was that, at 12:56 in the morning, Erik Lehnsherr agreed to meet with the man who had used his child as an excuse out of his work, and was now being caught up in the consequences. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long but my laptop fully died (: So I'm on a suuuper old laptop at the moment which is dying, copying the text from my phone. Basically I probably won't upload super regularly and appreciate anyone who bothers to stick around! Yell at me to post more if you want: catsforlivvy.tumblr.com


	3. Lonely and stressed, but still pretty well dressed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik is clean shaven, clean cut, and overall pretty sharp looking. Charles is... a mess.

Charles pulled up to the restaurant they had agreed on, somewhere neutral, but fairly smart, and without the kid, at least at first. Charles tapped the steering wheel with his thumbs. That sounded oddly date-like. He wondered for a brief moment whether it was a date, and, if so, whether he should have dressed up a little more than his usual brown suit. Oh well, he thought, no turning back now. 

The restaurant they had chosen was nice but not too extravagant, at Erik's request. He didn't want this to be 'too high profile'. Charles wondered why, but dismissed the thought quickly. None of my business, he can do what he wants. 

As soon as he walked in, Charles regretted not dressing up more. The man that beckoned him over, already sat at a table, was dressed impeccably. His smooth black suit was clearly tailored to fit him, crisp lines fitting just where they should. Charles glanced down at his own suit, somewhat ill-fitting and almost frumpy next to this man. 

He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the long evening he envisioned ahead of himself. 

Erik drummed his fingers against the arm of the sofa. Having already dropped Alex off to be looked after for the night, he almost felt useless without something to do. Nothing to clean, no school form to sign, no toy to trip over. Essentially, the havoc had all been contained, and there was nothing to do but wait.

Erik decided to see what he would wear for this meeting. His closet consisted mainly of suits, with a few casual outfits for the days when it was just he and Alex. The restaurant he had picked was nice enough, and Erik believed firmly in the importance of a good first impression, so he let his fingers glide over the suits thoughtfully. 

It hadn't crossed his mind that maybe, after what must have been nearly a year of no dating, he was considering this a bit too carefully, because Erik was busy, considering his outfit too carefully. 

He eventually settled on a sleek, black suit. It did not cross his mind that the last time he'd worn this was for that last disastrous date, nor that he was perhaps trying a little too hard to impress this apparently very work-shy man. 

None of this crossed his mind at all, not as he was getting ready, nor as he took his fifth 'final' glance in the mirror, nor as he got behind the driver's seat of his car half an hour early to set off for the evening ahead of him. Erik's mind, in fact, was blissfully free of these thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I am so done with this chapter that I have been trying to upload for about an hour now. Enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this! I have a few more chapters but let me know that you would want this continued! Requests are open here, or you can go to my tumblr (which is catsforlivvy) :)


End file.
